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*Caution: This blog is about grief, feel free to click out it if necessary. 

I was conversing with a friend recently about grief. If you have ever lost someone close, the week leading up to the funeral there are so many people around while you are planning all the event arrangements.

But…

What happens as time moves on? There are many random moments, days or months when it feels you are grieving all over again. As time moves on, there are many life updates you will never experience with them such as birthdays, weddings, the birth of children, and so much more.

What do you do as time moves on?

I’ve learned to take moments to cry if I need to and reflect on past experiences I shared with them. I’ll talk to a friend or my therapist.  I also remember that as time moves on, I have to exhale and continue to breathe.

My dad passed away on his birthday, April 12, 2010. I realize I’ll never stop missing him or grieving him. While, I don’t grieve him the same as I did before, I realize to grieve someone shows you loved them.

So in closing, my moment of wisdom is to remember those you loved, even as time moves on and continue to love.❤️

Last week’s blog: Say Yes

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Don’t tell yourself no before someone else tells you no.

This is a recent quote I heard while watch tv.

Planning and selling tickets for an event is an adventure. One of the things I’ve had to get better at was asking others.

Webster defines asking as to put a question or to inquire.

My friends would tell you, I’m usually not afraid to ask a question. If I’m out with my group of friends, I’ll be happy to ask someone a direct question and await their response.

However, I’ve learned when it comes to an event you are planning, you have to ask and invite others to come to the event.

It’s not okay for me to ask once and expect the place to be packed. I have to continue to ask others through different communication channels. Therefore, I think it’s important that I refreshed the initial quote shared at the beginning.

My reframe is:

Don’t tell yourself no before someone tells you yes.

Okay, I’m going to take y’all back a bit with this reference. Do y’all remember the book, Chicken Soup for the Soul? In case you never read them, in my opinion, they are a collection of short, soothing, and relatable comforting stories.

I’m sure you are wondering why I’m talking about chicken soup, just wait – I’m going somewhere with it! 😂

I’ve shared on my social media I’m hosting a Business Brunch. I really can’t explain the eudaemonic state I’m experiencing in anticipation of the event. While I truly believe God wastes nothing, it is special to feel like you are in a destiny moment. I would like to describe it as my chicken soup moment. You know when you have a good hearty bowl of chicken soup and it is the right temperature, a perfect blend of spices, a good balance of chicken to noodle and veggie ratio and you feel it fuels your soul! That’s what this moment feels like! I’ve invested in the Business Brunch for a few years and I’m overjoyed to share it with everyone.

So, excuse me for a few weeks if my blog post reference the planning of this event – I’m ecstatic!

Also, I’ll like to personally invite the ladies to come to the Business Brunch One Day Conference. Come expecting fellowship, excitement, laughs and some aha moments. Most importantly, I hope you are fueled to do what you are designed to do!

Last week’s blog: Joy in the Middle

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I’ve talked about joy before on my blog and even shared things that brought me joy. However, I think my initial perspective was limited and should be expanded. I’m currently reading, “Inciting Joy”. While I’m not done reading the book I’ve learned joy is much more complex and joy is found in the middle…

I know it is often said happiness is circumstantial but I would like to add my definition, Joy is reinvigorating.

I like to describe joy as the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s my beacon of hope.

Joy is a visit from a friend after battling depression.

Joy is the aroma of your favorite meal after dealing with grief or loss.

Joy is gaining the energy to try again one more time after you were told No umpteen times.

Joy is the sound of friends cheering you on when you have cried your eyes out in sadness.

Joy is remembering a funny memory about a loved one.

For me, joy is like breathing in fresh air after you’ve quarantined in the house. Joy is love after sorrow and a little hope for tomorrow.

I hope today you find joy in the middle of whatever you are encountering and if you have joy, share a little joy with someone else!

In case you missed it!

Last week’s blog: 3 Questions to a Balanced Reset – Halfway There

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It’s week 26 of the year. We are halfway there to the end of the year. After January, it always feels like the year flies by and if you aren’t intentional you will look up and Christmas will be here.

If you are anything like me, you made plans and or goals earlier in the year and you veered off course.

It’s natural to have detours and get off course when you are working on something. The important thing is how quickly you recover and reset.

In the game of basketball, there are tons of shots taken. Some shots go into the basket and some hit the rim. While the goal is to have all the shots in the basket, the players understand if they don’t make it in the basket, the next important thing is retrieving the rebounded ball to shoot again.

This teaches, we may not be 100% on our goals and that’s okay. But after you realize this, what are you going to do about it?

I think for me this year, I have so many things I’m working on, I’ve had to narrow down my focus and be intentional about how I spend my time. Some weekends can be jammed packed with great things going on. My reset now includes doing as much as possible during the week to set myself up for success on the weekends. For me, this means prepping a blog on Thursday, utilizing my task app for reminders, adding events to my calendar as a reminder, and then revisiting my goals as often as needed to recalibrate and readjust.

So while we are halfway there to the end of the year, what does a reset and readjustment look like for you?

Here are 3 Questions to help with our reset:

1. What are our current goals for the year and do we still desire the same goals?
2. What adjustments do we need to make to obtain our goals?
3. How can we hold ourselves accountable and add achievement markers to celebrate our wins?

Remember, reset, refocus, readjust, restart – As many times as you need to. Just never give up. – Author Unknown

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Last week’s blog: Selective Amnesia

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Have you ever experienced selective amnesia?

I have…but before I move forward let me give you my definition of selective amnesia.

Selective Amnesia is when you forget something took place, but this usually only occurs when it is to your benefit.

Has this happened to you?

Recently someone was sharing a story with me about how they messed something up. While I didn’t verbalize my concerns to them I had so many ideas in my head of what they could have done better to prevent this – sort of like I know best and if I was them I wouldn’t have made this mistake.

I had several preventive solutions for this person when I forgot I had the same thing that almost happened to me last week.  🙃

#selectiveamnesia

Once I remembered my situation, I realized how quickly I forgot my situation. I’m human too and I’m very capable of making lots of mistakes. 😩

As the saying goes, you point a finger at someone else and have many more pointed back at you.

At that moment, I immediately changed my response to them. I showed them compassion and grace. It shouldn’t have taken me remembering my situation to have compassion for someone else; therefore I’ll do better at implementing this going forward.