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Fight or flight! Your body immediately picks a side when you are going through an experience that feels traumatic. Majority of the time depending on the situation my body picks flight. Last week, I had an experience and my body immediately felt like it was in danger. It’s crazy what your brain tells you to protect you from any real or perceived threat. I immediately grabbed my luggage and decided I would ask questions later. 😂

It all happened so quickly and all I could think was let me flee (flight) from this situation and put myself in a more controlled environment to feel comfortable.

Fast forward another 10 minutes or so I calmed down some and told myself I could practice a healthier response to calm my body and brain so that I could make a more logical decision. So, instead of fleeing (flight) from the situation I went for a walk and calmed down. A nice brisk walk was a great way to calm my environment, get some fresh air, and slow the internal noise in my head. I understand my body’s ability to respond to situations to alert me to fight or flight will vary depending on the level intensity to protect me. Which is – great, but sometimes it’s okay to calm down and respond differently.

Do you tend to fight or flight when you encounter situations?

#permissiontothinkdifferently

I saw on social media the other day someone decided to go from a nickname to their full name. The reasoning behind it was they initially wanted others to be able to pronounce their name easier, but they prefer to be called by their birth name. I thought this was a great idea as I’m learning to give people to grow, change and evolve.

Storytime: I remember in grade school when my teachers took attendance I always knew when they were about to call my name because they would stop and look confused. In their defense it didn’t help that due to my first name containing 9 letters and my last name containing 8 there was a letter or two cut off from my first name on the roll. So, they weren’t sure if they should say Lawrence or Lawrencia. 😩

Fast forward to now, people occasionally happily share with me my name is difficult and to their comments I’m often unsure of what to say because like you all reading this – I didn’t have any input in my name. Our names are given to us by parents or someone else as we arent even old enough to chat at birth.

I truly believe you can’t even get to know someone until you know their preferred name. The best thing to do is to ask them – that’s it!

I’ll say this and I’ll probably keep saying it-  therapy is hard, sometimes. All weekend I’ve been trying to process things I discussed with my therapist on Friday. Additionally, every other thing I’ve listened to from sermons to mentor calls and conversations with a couple of friends compounded off that conversation. 😭

I will say this for starters when God wants to get my attention about anything it may start gently, but if I miss the cues and don’t do the work, then it will hit me like a ton of rocks. #woosah

In case you are new to my blog, one of the ways I process things is through conversation and my writing. So welcome aboard.🤗

After a combination of many things this weekend, I’ve realized sometimes you have to ensure you embrace how God has wired you.

We are wired exactly how God wanted us to be for my unique assignments and purpose.

The more I become clearer on my assignment, it allows me to produce speed and execute my purpose quicker because I can easily say yes or no to different things which don’t align.

– Dr. Darius Daniels

God graced me for every assignment he wants me to fulfill even if it feels weird to someone else and that’s okay.

I’ll dive deeper into this with a later blog, but enclosing we all have unique things which bother us from social justice issues, the abuse of animals, orphans, lack of systems in organizations and so much more! Lean into what bothers you as you may be able to solve a problem that others don’t see!

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What’s something which bothers you which no one else seems to notice?

In case I haven’t shared sometimes I like therapy and others – well therapy is hard. You are continuously looking inward and if I’m honest I’ll like to believe the issue is not me. 😂#whewchile

Story time: So, a few weeks ago I shared a post about feedback, (read this first: https://www.wrenhowsway.com/floppy-feedback/) . After meeting and discussing this story with my therapist she gave me a completely different outlook on my initial post and I knew I had to share a follow-up blog.
After sharing the story with my therapist, she first reminded me I volunteered to help with a project. Secondly, she advised once you agree to do something you sign up for every part of it – the good, the bad, and even the unsolicited feedback conversations which may result from it. Y’all! #therapyishard 😂 Definitely, not something I wanted to hear, but I understood her point.

Moral of the story: I’ll be very selective when I volunteer. 😂 That’s it!

New Blog: Meeting People Where They Are…

We are all on different journeys in our lives and at different phases of the journey. Some of us may be farther along than someone else in one aspect, while slowly trying to catch up in a different area. It’s easy to expect others to show up for you in different seasons as you anticipate you would show up for them in a similar season. But we are all going through unique situations as we journey through our different life seasons. I’m learning that grace has to be extended in so many different situations and nuances.

I was recently reading this book and the author shared, that while she was sick she had some friends who brought her meals, sent her cards in the mail, went to the hospital, helped around the house, told her jokes and some did absolutely nothing at all! She concluded that no matter how someone showed up for her in a tough season in her life – they would still be their friend.

This book resonated with me because it’s often easy to assume people will show up a certain way to help, but sometimes they don’t! You never know the unknown things people have going on which are not shared with everyone. Even if they don’t have anything going on, we still have to give them grace because maybe they don’t know what to do and that’s okay!

Sometimes God allows certain people to come into your life to pour into you in a really difficult season. However, we get to choose how we show up for others. Meet people where they are and allow God, grace and love to cover the difference. I love handwritten cards, so I’m going to be more intentional in sending cards to others.

How are you showing up for the people in your life?

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Few people want to be a writer and everyone wants to be an editor. I heard someone quote this last weekend and I knew I had to share it. It’s so much easier to have a red pen correcting things than to be the person who wrote it receiving all the feedback. This is why I’m not that fond of some constructive feedback. Let me clarify. I receive feedback from my editors for my books all the time – which I appreciate. However, it’s the unsolicited feedback from others, which can grind my gears at times.

Y’all remember being in school and there was always one or two people doing the bulk of the work for a group project? The other group members chimed in with feedback or stood at the front of the class for moral support for the group presentation. Yeah, still not cool today.😩

While the settings may have changed unsolicited feedback can be tough to digest – especially if others didn’t contribute and they were able to do so. I wish I could say I have mastered receiving feedback, but I haven’t.

However, the two most valuable things heard from a mentor recently were:

• Always assume positive intent from others.
• Don’t allow others to rush you to respond if you need a moment to process what they are saying.

How do you deal with constructive feedback?