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Have you ever been disappointed? OMG! ??‍♀️I have. It is like the worst feeling ever, or at least it feels that way at that moment. Lol.

I’m sure we all have plenty of examples in which we have disappointed ourselves or been disappointed by someone else. I have plenty of stories I could share, but I’ll focus on the first two that came to my mind.

For example:
When I was a child, I wanted to go to Chuckie Cheese, all the time. But, of course, we didn’t always go when I wanted to go. Sometimes we had other family obligations we had to attend or we didn’t have Chuckie Cheese money.

Or, another example:
In grad school I received my first B in my research methods course. I was high-key disappointed in myself and my teacher. I wanted to say, I finished grad school with a 4.0, but that wasn’t my story.
She gave me a B, yes I said gave. I know  I earned an A. #stillsalty

Anywho, I realized that disappointment is based on expectations that we place on someone else that they may or may not be aware of.
When others fail to meet our expectation, we are disappointed. Im guilty.
I will be the first person to admit that I will be in my feelings ready to have a whole meltdown. ?
Like – I’m clearly pissed at them or myself and sometimes they don’t even know. Woosah.
To better manage expectations, of course we can try not to place any expectations on anyone. To the contrary, that doesn’t work.
I’ve been there and tried it. #fail ??‍♀️

We really do need others. #community

Instead, we can try to manage our expectations of others by realizing sometimes life happens.
Maybe, they didn’t know you expected something of them or they made an honest mistake and forgot. We can choose to forgive them or stay upset. I forgive, because there is nothing worst than to be upset about something and you can’t sleep, while the other person is living their best life with joy.

Question of the Day: How do you manage the expectation you place on others?

Scripture of the Day:
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
I Thessalonians 5:18

Happy Friday!

Whatever, problem you are going through, God hears us. Sometimes, we can go through something and we literally have no words to speak. #silence The beautiful thing about God is he hears our aches, groans and sighs. He interprets all of this because he knows us better than we know ourselves.

I am grateful that I don’t have to: send him a text, facetime him, send him a tweet or hop in his DMs. We serve a God that knows everything about us! When I say everything, I do mean EVERYTHING!!! He designed us and knows every microscopic detail about us.

If I ask a baker who created a recipe what items go in their cake. They will name out the items of their recipe. Also, if they are watching you prepare the recipe, they will tell you add a little more of this or that to prepare a delicious cake.

So, if we trust a Baker, why can’t we trust God that knows every detail of our lives? I personally sigh alot or I may even roll my eyes. Guess what- he knows what that means too! ??‍♀️
He can hear our frustration through the sighs and the woosahs.

Question of the Day? What problem are you faced with without a solution? Are you going to give it to God?

Scripture of the Day: Romans 8:26‭-‬28 MSG

Have you ever seen something online and wanted the item or service? Guilty! I have tons of things added to my Amazon wishlist. Some of the stuff will be in my cart for months.

Storytime:
I saw a cute belt that I wanted. I googled it and learned that it is a Gucci belt that ranges in cost of  about $600.00 – $1,000.00. So, the way my bank account is set up,  I ball on a budget.

Translation -I’m not ballin’ at all ‘yet’.

I told my friend, if I purchased this belt it would be part of my daily uniform. Every single time you saw me, I would have on the belt. And yes, I do mean everyday. Where is the lie? lol. So, if anyone from Gucci is reading this and would like to send me a belt, holla at ya girl, I’m not picky but preferably the black and gold one with double GG buckle. Lol.

Anywho, while I love to window shop,
I am grateful that I had a sister that taught me how to budget. In addition, to teaching me, she also shared personal stories, which were tremendously beneficial. S/O to my big sis Tish!

However, saving and budgeting can still be a struggle for many sometimes. I have adopted some of the principles that I am sharing below that helps me live my best life on a budget!

I believe that knowledge is power, so here are five tips that I learned from attending a conference with The Budgetnista last year.

Sidenote: If you don’t know who The Budgetnista is, Google her. She has amazing practical tips you can use for budgeting and a lot of her stuff is free 99.

5 Useful Tips for Budgeting
1. Have a budget. Write down what you spend monthly versus what you make monthly. Every purchase matters. You should ask yourself before every purchase three questions:
Do I – Need it? Love it? Like it?

2. Pay your credit card off after your statement date so that the payment can be reported to the credit bureau. Also, if you have more than one credit card, keep your utilization on all of them below 30%. In addition, if you have multiple credit cards, have one credit card that you pay off in full monthly.
3. Have 2 checking accounts.
The 1st account should be for your check deposit. The 2nd account for you to pay your bills only. This will help you from accidentally spending your bill money.
4. Have online only savings accounts. The online accounts have less overhead, therefore their interest rates are higher.

Higher interest rates  = more money in the bank
List of online saving account options: magnifymoney.com
Online only accounts are also good if you are an impulse shopper. You have to wait at least 24 hours to get your money.
5. Any extra money you receive or money you planned on spending but didn’t have to should go towards paying off debt.
Ex: birthday money

Question of the Day
What are some practical tips that you use to save money?

Scripture of the Day
Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.

Proverbs 21:5 NLT

Since 1949, the month of May has been observed as Mental Health Month.
1949 – that’s umpteen years before I was born. #geeesh

However, 2018, was the first year I ever heard of Mental Health Month. We are often taught about Black History Month in February, National Hispanic Heritage Month which starts in September, Asian Pacific American Heritage Month in May and Women’s History Month in March- just to name a few observed months.

Our mental health is as important. I truly believe the phrase, your health is your wealth. Your health encompasses your mental, physical and spiritual well- being. No one wants to be physically fit and mentally and spiritually fatigued.

There is often a negative stigma that came with the idea of counseling. If something traumatic happened, people would say, Go to church”, or “Pray” instead if providing assistance resources.

As stated in a previous blog, prayer is always a solution. However, group therapy, one on one counseling and mental breaks are needed sometimes and are encouraged.

I am glad within my network of friends that stigma is starting to change. I frequently hear others say, I’m going to counseling or I have a trusted friend I can talk with regarding working through life.

Transparent Moment:

I went to group therapy this year for the first time and I was nervous and scared. Thankfully, in that moment I prayed and worked through it. I can honestly say I enjoyed it and would go again. I met some amazing people, shared my story, encouraged others and received encouragement.

So if you need someone to chat with, don’t be afraid to reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor. Also, utilize your resources available. Several employers offer free counseling, yes I did say #free99 sessions with your wellness benefits as well.

Scripture of the Day:

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Isaiah 26:3

Hey yall! I love a good trip.
I am always planning my next trip in my head. People who know me frequently ask me, “Where are you going next?”
My response- “ummm everywhere!”

I literally want to go everywhere in the world! No place is off limits, not even Antarctica! I just need my bank account to match up with everywhere I want to go.

Anywho, I digress.

My Truth

Through various trips with friends and bridal parties I’ve learned ? you can’t travel with everyone! #pointblankperiod Where is the lie???? I will wait.

Friendships get shaky.
Feelings get hurt. People be late. Shade gets thrown. People cancel. People don’t have funds. Like boo, where is your cash???? Woosah

Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling with others, but like any good thing, it takes work and planning. Since, there are occassions you want to travel with others or you have to due to your profession, my friend prepared a list of lessons learned from a recent trip. So I decided to share.

Enjoy and take notes!

Lessons Learned

1. Have someone who you absolutely love on the trip, that will keep you calm. This isn’t always possible, if not have someone available that you can text if needed to calm you down in the moment.
2. All personalities don’t mix.
For example: If person A doesn’t like person B, it may not be a good idea to put them in a vehicle together for a few hours. Just take 2 separate trips with both. #problemsolved
3. Show the list of everyone invited and allow people to choose if they would like to attend based on the invitees list.
4. If it is a large trip, have a meet and greet before the trip.
5. Create an itinerary.
6. Make sure everyone is on time. Sometimes this means, pushing the time up 30 mins or an hour before your expected time to give people grace in case of an emergency.
7. Have a trigger word. If stuff doesn’t go as planned, have a word that the group agreed on so you all can come together and adjust plans as necessary.
8. Create a group thread through Facebook, groupme or WhatsApp.
9. Go with the flow. All the time things don’t go as planned, so be flexible.
10. Follow your first mind. If you are feeling unsure about plans or an event, go with your gut, you are usually never wrong.
11. Always stay positive, even if you disagree with someone be the bigger person and don’t let it affect you. After all you paid good money for the same trip they’re on. Don’t allow others to control your emotions!
12. If you are sharing lodging with others, set shared cleaning responsibilities and a time for cleaning. It’s no fun for one person to be responsible for cleaning up after others. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

Motto for Trips:

If you always find the silver lining then you’ll always find a way to have a good time.

Question of the Day:

What tips do you have for group trips?

Scripture of the Day:

Psalms 121:7-8