Category: Uncategorized

Culture conditions you to invest in what you put on you when you should invest in what you put inside of you.

Now I love a cute outfit, a nice purse, a new pair of shoes and some really nice perfume. Side note: If anyone can find this Delina Exclusif perfume in a small bottle let me know because the current price is... 😩🫥 Okay, I digress!

As much as I like new clothes and nice things I realize I can only spend money on external things within reason, which is why I don’t mind thrifting. As nice as the clothes are that I put on my body, I realize it is even more important to pay attention to what I invest inside of me as well.

I am in therapy and have been for over 4 to 5 years. I am also in a mentorship program and I listen to helpful books and or podcasts which are related to what I am currently experiencing. Additionally, I feed my mind mentally from the Bible and expand my thinking by engaging in conversations with others. I’ve realized, what I take in is even more important than what I have on my body. How are you feeding yourself internally?

Last week’s Blog: Approved

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Y’all remember the movie Fighting Temptations? I don’t remember the plot of the movie, but the title was perfect for this blog.

My pastor preached a sermon yesterday titled Recipe of Regret. He talked about the story of Jacob and Esau and how Esau regretted his decision he made of selling his birthright to Jacob his brother for a bowl of soup. I encourage you to read Genesis chapter 25 and 26 for yourself. 

Aside: Get comfortable reading stories for yourself, so that God can speak to you directly.

In the sermon, he gave us 3 points for a recipe for regret which I will share below. When I was listening to the sermon, I realized the points could also apply when you are making decisions about eating food, particularly when you have decided to eat healthier. I thought about the scripture there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9) – meaning, some of the same things experienced in the bible, we experience today like the temptation of food. Also, see the story in the Bible in which Jesus was tempted with food by the devil after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights. (See Matthew 4:1-11)

Okay back to the story, here is the list shared, renamed My Fighting Temptation list.

3 Ways to Fighting Temptations

1. Don’t decide in isolation. You need council.
2. Don’t decide tired. Cultivate a rhythm of rest and have healthier options available to make your decision easier.
3. Don’t make a decision which provides immediate gratification. Think long term.

I hope this list helped and it is something you can come back to often and utilize when you are fighting temptations. One of the things I am considering to fight temptations is ordering my food online. I  need healthy food sent straight to my home whether it is juicing or meal kits. This way I have less decisions to make and when I am tired, healthy options will already be available for me to consume; therefore, I am more likely to eat healthier.

What is one practical way you plan to fight temptations in your life?

As Mental Health Awareness Month continues, I’ve come to firmly believe that just as we prioritize yearly check-ups with our healthcare providers, we should also prioritize regular check-ins with our mental health.

I’ve been an advocate for therapy for some time now. Since August 2019, I’ve been engaged in therapy sessions, and I foresee it being a lifelong commitment, complemented by coaching. After all, why not set ourselves up for success in every aspect of life?

My personal formula for a fulfilling life comprises my relationship with God, therapy sessions, a supportive community, and well-defined boundaries. Looking back, my only regret is not starting therapy sooner.

But why did I start therapy?

In August 2019, I found myself on the verge of releasing my first book while simultaneously navigating the turmoil of a relationship that seemed to be coming to an end. Amidst the celebrations of one of my biggest accomplishments, I was grappling with heartbreak. Walking into my therapist’s office that day, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but I knew I needed a safe space to unpack my emotions with someone nonjudgmental and unbiased. Dr. Pearson, my therapist, helped me gain perspective. She asked me to consider what I would lose if the relationship ended—would I still have the essentials like food, transportation, and financial stability? Together, we explored various options for navigating the relationship. Walking out of her office that day, I felt empowered, and I’ve continued my therapy journey ever since. I recognize that my positive experience with my first therapist was fortunate, but I understand that this isn’t always the case for everyone.

If you’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t worked out, my advice is to give it another chance. Just like dating, finding the right therapist is about collecting data and finding the right fit. If the first therapist isn’t the right match, don’t hesitate to try another.

If you’re considering therapy but unsure where to start, here are a few resources to explore:

1. Therapy for Black Girls

2. Psychology Today

3. Your Employer’s EAP Benefits

4. Better Help

5. Therapist.com

6. Talkspace

7. Therapy for Black Men.Org

8. Your Insurance Company 

Are you currently in therapy? If so, what prompted you to start, and how has your experience been so far?

 Are you considering signing up for therapy?

Last Week’s Blog: My Walk With God

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I’ve always known of God, but to be honest I’ve been closer to him now than I’ve ever been in my life.

To explain you know how you know someone by their face or you may know their name – but until you spend a lot of time with them you don’t really know their personality or who they are. I heard a quote and I’ll try to quote it correctly, Until you know a person’s name, you don’t know them.

In this season, I’m learning the many names of God and his personality.

I’ve quoted the prayer of faith several times, faithfully had a prayer time for the past few years, listened to the Bible app, served at church and still needed to go deeper with God. All the things I mentioned above are great – but the scripture reminds me what would it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? (Mark 8:36)

I made assumptions that “doing church” was enough and it’s not. It’s about relationship and having respect for God. The more you love someone, there’s just some things you won’t do because you know it doesn’t please them. This one sentence sums of intimacy for me. The more I realize I love Jesus – the less of a desire I have for sinning because I realize it doesn’t bring him joy.

For me the decision to have a reverence for God didn’t happen over night, it’s been a gradual process of stopping several things like not having sex before marriage, white lies are not okay because a lie is a lie and gluttony is a sin. My personal convictions (not condemnation) for God and against sin are much stronger.

What’s a conviction? I would describe a conviction as an impression on your heart of what you know to do or not to do. It’s kind of like when you were a kid and there were things you didn’t do because you knew your parents wouldn’t be okay with it.

So, this is where I am currently on my journey with God. I would love to say that everyday I have a blast 😂 but no. But I really want to show others you can live at God’s standard. A standard is the floor – so of course, there’s levels to this. 

Also, the goal is never perfection, it’s relationship. I’m in need of his grace and mercy daily – just like any one else!

How are you living?

Last Week’s Blog: Boldness

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As a Christian, I’ve heard the story of Jesus death, burial and the resurrection so many times, but every time I hear the story again I hear a new detail. That’s really my new prayer in this season, God reveal something new to me as I read the scriptures with fresh eyes. 

I was recently thinking about my sins cost Jesus his life. That’s heavy. There’s no way, I can ever repay Jesus for what he did – ever! 

But, what I can do is learn to give God a yes in every season in my life. 

Giving God a yes, can be scary, but as a I grow in my walk in Christ, I realize my release of my hand causes him to release his hand and reveal his plan for my life which far exceeds mine. As many of us walk through seasons, ask God what can you release to receive more of him? 

It may cost you sacrificing some sleep to waking up earlier, a relationship, your own plans and it will be worth it to receive all God has for you the remainder of the year in 2024! 

Last week’s Blog:  My Testimony of God’s Protection

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