One of the ways I process information is by sharing what I learn. So, naturally, after attending my first NAAIA Conference in Charlotte, I knew I would have plenty to share.
And hopefully, this won’t be my last NAAIA Conference!
When I selected my sessions, I was intentional about choosing topics that could contribute to my own personal and professional development. So when I saw the session “Coachability Is Currency: Turning Feedback Into a Competitive Advantage,” I knew I wanted to be in the room.
Especially because my current employer encourages 360 feedback, I was interested in learning more about how to receive feedback, process it, and actually use it to grow.
The session moderators and presenters did not disappoint. They introduced the Learn, Validate, Formulate (LVF) feedback framework, shared personal experiences, and provided open ended questions that can help make feedback conversations more productive.
One thing that stood out to me was the reminder that feedback is a gift.
That does not mean every piece of feedback will feel good, be delivered perfectly, or even be something you ultimately agree with. But there can still be something valuable to learn from the moment.
What do you do when feedback catches you off guard?
Here are a few things I took away:
1. Pause.
Take a few seconds to count in your head and give yourself time to process the moment before responding.
2. Don’t let the feedback control how you engage.
You may not be able to control how the feedback makes you feel, but you can control how you respond.
3. Ask questions.
Clarify the difference between intent and impact. Sometimes what someone intended to communicate and how their actions were experienced are two different things.
4. Remember that feedback is a gift.
Use discernment to determine what information is useful to you and what you need to work on.
5. Say thank you and keep moving forward.
You do not have to have every answer in the moment. Sometimes the best response is simply to receive the information, process it, and determine your next step.
What do you do when feedback feels unfair?
This part really made me think.
Consider the source.
Who is providing the feedback, and what perspective or experience are they bringing to the conversation?
Receive the information.
Even when you disagree, allow yourself to hear what is being communicated before immediately becoming defensive.
Ask for an example.
Specific examples can help you understand the concern and identify what could have been done differently.
Seek to understand.
Instead of immediately trying to defend yourself, become a student in the moment. There may be something you can learn, even if you do not agree with every part of the feedback.
Questions to ask during a feedback conversation
If you aren’t sure what to ask when receiving feedback, here are a few questions shared during the session that I thought were helpful:
- Was this a one time concern, or have you noticed a pattern?
- What is the first change you want me to prioritize?
- What would you like me to do differently after this conversation?
- When should I check in on this?
- How do you prefer that we raise concerns with each other going forward?
These questions can help move the conversation from simply receiving feedback to understanding what to actually do with it.
As I continue to think about this session, I’m reminded that being coachable is not about accepting every opinion as truth. It’s about being willing to listen, ask questions, learn, and determine what can help you become better.
Feedback may not always be easy to receive, but there can be value in learning how to receive it well.
And sometimes, the feedback we least expect can give us the greatest opportunity to grow.
A special thank you to Tracy May, Denise Campbell, and Trelvis Randolph for facilitating such a thoughtful and practical session.
What is one piece of feedback that has helped you grow?